Day Three

24 01 2010

I have decided on a new strategy, though I am not terribly proud of it, but as I said early on, I am going to remain brutally honest.  I am allowing myself only one cigarette for every two used cartridges today.  I am having a difficult time with the lack of being able to fully break off of the lighting one up aspect.

It really hits hard when Glenn smokes.  And I don’t want to use that as an excuse, but I noticed it earlier.  I was studying some terminology for school and he lit up.  I heard that snap and flick of the metal grinding against the metal in the lighter and I noticed I quickly eyeballed my smokes.  I picked up my e-cigarette instead and held it for a while and that worked for about a minute until I could smell the smoke.

I am contemplating a little family pow wow later tonight to instruct Glenn to not buy me any cigarettes and for Alannah and Kayla to have at it when they see me smoking.  My concern is permitting them and then possibly getting angry at them later when they follow through.  But I am needing more structure and discipline than I am giving myself.

My goal tomorrow is nothing but the e-cigarette.

Today, 6 cartridges and 3 cigarettes.  Oh damn I really wanted to be farther along than this.

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