Interview craziness

15 06 2009

One would think with as many silly applicants I have screened, met with and watched bomb their way through the interview process that I would be better at it myself. I proved that theory wrong today.The question: how do you handle answering questions you don’t know the answer to?
I don’t think I have ever encountered a question like this and I was wracking my brain trying to think of what she was ‘really’ asking.  I couldn’t find it and saying that I know everything and thus the question did not apply just didn’t seem appropriate.  So I told her that I would say ‘I don’t know but I would relish the opportunity to research it for an answer.’The question: what do you do when you need to get work done but people keep coming in and disrupting you?
I went for the honest answer and told her I put my ear plugs in and hope they get the message.  I still can’t believe I said that.  So much for diplomacy right?The question: what was the worst job you ever had and why?
I explained my short part time career working at David’s Bridal and how when asked if the dress made the young lady’s ass look big I told her it was most likely the twinkies and not the gown that did that and following that outburst I was assigned the task of helping our before and after hour customers – the men of alternative lifestyles who wanted to try on evening wear.  I guess it’s a good thing this wasn’t a sales related job I interviewed for.I wish an interviewer would just be honest, because I certainly would have no trouble being honest in return.  But instead it is a game of psychology and human behaviour and if I can be the master of deceit for the twenty minutes in the chair I might get the job.
Did I lean this way or that way; did I make appropriate eye contact; which way did I look when I pondered a question; how much time did I spend pondering; whose hand did I shake first; did I have a firm enough grip or come off like a pansy; did I wear a confident colour or a wimpy one.I’d like an interview to go like this:Q: Will you show up to work on time?A: Yes, in fact fifteen minutes early because people who aren’t punctual piss me off.Q: Will you do your work?A: Yes.Q: Will you do my work and let me put my name on it?A: If the pay is right, yes.Q: If I offer you less than what you want to get paid will you still take the job?A: Yes.Q: When can you start? But instead, no, let’s put those college degrees to good use with scenario bullshit that never actually works out the way we say and let’s let you assess my tale of previous employers for what I am really saying.I need a nap.

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