A Bit About the Wedding

10 06 2009

(I cheated on this blog entry and am cutting and pasting parts from a letter I wrote a friend)

Saturday morning, day of the wedding, was crazy.  I went to be about midnight Friday, up again at 1 and 2 and about to doze off at 3 only to have a dreadful storm roll in for two hours of thunder and lightning.  I started dozing off again around 5 only to have another intense storm come in.  By seven I said screw it and stayed up.

We get my SUV all packed up and spend ten minutes of me going over my checklist again and again and again to make sure I hadn’t lost my mind and forgotten anything.  We finally get in the SUV only to find the battery is dead.  Doornail dead.  Glenn’s jumper is at his work.  So we pack everything somehow into the Yaris.  I don’t know how.

It was very overcast by 3 but supposedly not going to rain but after talking with Glenn and his brothers and the coordinator, we decided not to risk it.  I really wanted the wedding outside and in the long run, it never did rain the whole evening until about 9, but I am rather glad we didn’t do it outside.  I was sweating profusely even when running around in bra and panties and they kept lowering the AC down to like 65 and it didn’t seem cold enough.

Oh and for the record, band aid bras don’t work.  Since the dress was backless I bought these band aid type bras that supposedly will support up to an EE cup.  BS.  Total BS.  I am a D and they amounted to sticking tape onto sand for support.  I put them on Alannah too and we finally looked at each other and proceeded to rip them off of one another.  And also for the record, they feel just like band aids when being ripped off of the skin.

A guest I hadn’t planned for, that wasn’t welcome, that I specifically calculated to avoid having it show up was my monthly visitor – who what do you know should start Saturday morning.  I cussed so many times and of course the gown is white so yay!  Glenn, who obviously knows nothing about womanly stuff, suggested putting in three or four tampons for back up.  I gave him the finger and he went back to his thumb twiddling contest.

Kayla’s hair was a breeze, I did it at home.  Alannah’s I did at home with little luck and tried again at the country club.  Alannah’s hair wouldn’t cooperate, which was sad because during our practise runs, it took me only like thirty minutes to do her hair.  With enough hairspray though anything is possible.

I draped a huge sheet over each of us when I did our make up so I wouldn’t ruin any gowns.  I am so glad the girls have my lips with that perfect cupid’s bow.  I did my make up last and finally said screw it with the sheet as I couldn’t use my arms with it on.

Then Sheila came around to walk me through some last minute things. Mostly we chatted about my Kathy Lee Gifford style of shopping for the gown and veil.  LoL

Glenn was just bored senseless.

Let me tell you, when he saw me finally in the gown, and keep in mind I hadn’t even so much as shown him a catalogue picture, I saw his face and it just got me so giddy!  And then we get into place and all ready to go.  Sheila, who was my boss at JP Morgan Vastera when I did customs clearance work, she was our officiant.  She and I had lunch like a year ago to catch up and mentioned she was officiating at her niece’s wedding and I said – oooooooo.  I was so glad to have her there for us, she has been such a good friend and to see her instead of some greyed old minister from some church I’ve never heard of or been to was just awesome.  So she walked out first.  Then Glenn escorted his mom to her chair.  Then Kayla went out as ring bearer.  Then Alannah gave my train one final whoop and walked out with Glenn’s brother Brian.  I waited for like an eternity it seemed.  I couldn’t see any of the guests or anyone at all, just the coordinator who was to give me the nod once the music changed.

She gave me the nod and I almost started crying.  Just walking out it was such an overwhelming feeling of sadness because Daddy wasn’t alive and happiness for finally having this wonderful moment that I have dreamed of since I was knee high to a barstool.  I remember when I was like in first grade I had a music performance where we did fifties music numbers and my mom had made me a bright red circle skirt with a poodle on it.  After the concert I bleached it to a nice shade of yellowish pinkish white and I used to flip it over my head and play bride.  I did that for years.  This one moment was the climax of all those years of dreaming and dress up.

I saw a good friend that I used to work with and hadn’t seen in like three years in the crowd and I lost my footing almost, certainly lost my pace, and teetered for a second before continuing walking.  I hadn’t thought about wearing the dress with no heels and I was wearing isotoner slippers and therefore the dress was about two inches too long so I had the whole lifting the front ladylike thing going on – which I am pretty sure you don’t do as a bride.  But I got up there to Glenn and I just can’t even put into words how exciting that was.

He was supposed to lift my veil but Sheila forgot to cue him and so my veil stayed down.  She had the most lovely sermon that we had trimmed a bit because while I do believe, I am not overtly religious and I didn’t really want to hear about Paul and the Corinthians…just his message to them:

Please be seated.Today we have gathered as family and friends, in the sight of God, to witness the union of two special people Glenn and Tiffany.On their behalf, I welcome you and invite you to celebrate with them as they enter into the Holy sacrament of marriage. Shall we pray?

Lord, look with favor upon this moment, as Glenn and Tiffany are united in marriage.  May your presence here bless this occasion.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Marriage brings people into the closest and most sacred of all human relationships.  When 2 people choose to be married they come as unique individuals with gifts and talents, strengths and weaknesses, hopes and fears—with experiences that shape them and make them the beautiful creation they are. A new creation is made when their lives are blended together in marriage.  Not in a way that causes them to lose their individuality—not in a way the causes them to be less of a person—But in a way that enhances the beauty of each person and causes them to be more than they could be apart.

Glenn, Tiffany, the vows you are about to make are sacred and should be entered into with commitment, respect, and love for each other.  The kind of love that develops over time and takes on the qualities of a love that is patient and looks for a way of being constructive.  One that is not possessive, has good manners, is not touchy, and does not hold a grudge.  A love that knows no limit to it’s endurance, no end to it’s trust, no fading of it’s hope—a love that can out last anything.  It is in fact, the one thing that stands when all else has fallen.

May God fill your hearts with this kind of love for one another as you are now joined in marriage. Lord, bless this union….be with them in times of sorrow, encourage them in times of doubt, and guide them safely over the rocky portions of their journey together as man and wife.  That they may come to know the strength and security of being able to rely on each other to persevere through the hard times.  So that they may also come to know the exceeding joy of sharing the good times with a trusted and cherished companion.  Be with them always, in the name of Jesus, amen.

Then we had our vows which we had written.  I hand wrote them down that morning onto the back of the graphic portion of some left over invitations and folded them in half.  Glenn had his and Kayla held mine.

Glenn’s:Tiffany, when I met you I knew immediately you were the one for me.  It could have been your kindness and helpfulness that did it but I knew there was an attraction.

(About here Glenn got choked up and looked away from me to read the rest even though he had it memorized.)

I remember when you let me come up to North Carolina to meet you, I was nervous and excited.  We hit it off, your children approved of me and now here we stand to bond for the rest of our lives.

(He started looking at me again here, his eyes all watery.)

It is truly a dream come true for me and I am looking forward to a lifetime of happiness with you and your children.

So at this point, Kayla hands me my card and I fumbled all over trying to see it through my veil.  So then I pulled it under the veil and commented I was pretty sure this wasn’t the way I was supposed to do it.  So Glenn started holding the veil out.

Glenn, I knew that I liked you from the moment we met – your charming smile, your mischevious eyes, your failure to be intimidated by me.  I knew that I trusted you the first time you held me and my fears subsided in your arms.  I knew that I loved you the first time we argued, when I realized how devastated I would be if you weren’t in my life.  We have waited for several years for this moment when we could proclaim to the world our love.  Sadly, my father passed from this world and cannot fulfill our mutual dream of walking me down the aisle, but I believe he is here in spirit and would proudly give you my hand and his blessing in our marriage.

The last part about Daddy came to me about 2:30 that morning and it just overwhelmed me to the point I got up and added it to my vows.  I don’t know if he was spiritually urging me or if it was just my own thoughts but it wasn’t until I got up and wrote them down that I finally settled down enough to sleep – then the rain started.

Then Sheila began guiding us again through our vows, but first had Glenn raise my veil – woo hoo!  I gave my bouquet to Alannah to hold and Brian gave Sheila my ring and Kayla gave me Glenn’s ring, well started to and then we silently motioned her to give it to Sheila.  It wasn’t her fault though, as in rehearsal we had her give it to me to give to Sheila.

Glenn,  do you take Tiffany to be your life’s partner, through sickness  and in health, through good times and bad times, in times of laughter and times of sadness?  Do you promise to love and respect her, to be her best friend and companion, so long as you both shall live?

Glenn:  I do.

Tiffany, do you take Glenn to be your life’s partner, through sickness and in health, through good times and in bad times, in times of laughter and times of sadness?  Do  you promise to love and respect him, to be his best friend and companion, so long as you both shall live?

Me:  I do.

Sheila:  The wedding ring is as outward and visible sign of  an inward and spiritual bond that unites two hearts in endless love.  Glenn, as a token of the endless and pure love which the marriage bond requires of you and Tiffany, you may place this ring upon the third finger of her left hand and repeat after me, With this ring I thee wed.Tiffany,  as a token of the endless and pure love which the marriage bond requires of you and Glenn, you may place this ring upon the third finger of his left hand and repeat after me, With this ring I thee wed.

I can’t recall but I think she used some other phrase, but we had practised the with this ring.  Glenn stumbled as did I but I cannot think of what else she possibly had us say.

Glenn, Tiffany, Do you both mutually agree to be each other’s companion, husband and wife, observing the legal rights belonging to this condition; that is, keeping yourselves wholly for each other, and from all others, so long as you both shall live?

Us: We do.

Then we began the part with vows to the girls which was Sheila’s suggestion and it was funny because Glenn and I had talked about it before but thought it might be corny so we figured he would just give them necklaces before the wedding or after but outside of the ceremony.  So when she suggested it, we were both like yes!

It is the desire of Glenn and Tiffany to extend their commitments to each other by making some promises to the children of this family. As you all join hands to form a new circle of love, we will seal this union with spoken promises like the rings this bride and groom have exchanged.

At this point she had the girls lay down the bouquets and hand her the jewelry box and they came up to us.  Kayla held my hand, though we had practised with her next to Glenn, but she grabbed mine and just stared at him, her eyes already welled up.  And Alannah giggles when she gets scared and was just as giggly as could be and she was trying so hard to compose herself.

Do you Glenn and Tiffany, promise to be faithful, loving, tender and nurturing parents, always there for Alannah and Kayla, not only providing their physical needs, but their emotional needs as well, always a good listener, a loving counselor and a friend?

Us: We do.

Sheila to Glenn: Glenn, please repeat after me Alannah and Kayla, I want you to know that I love your mother very much. I promise you that I will love you and care for you as if you were my own. I promise to be a committed listener. I promise you my trust, to be fair, my support, what knowledge I can share, to be your friend, and to provide a shoulder to cry on. I promise to be available to you as I am to your mother.

Glenn: Alannah, I give you this necklace as a sign of my loving promises made this day.

At this point he put her necklace on her, we had rehearsed to just hand it to the girls so it wouldn’t be a fumbling mess, but Glenn so smoothly just put the necklaces on both of them – though Kayla’s was on backwards.

Glenn: Kayla, I give you this necklace as a sign of my loving promises made this day.

Sheila to the girls: Alannah, Kayla, do you accept the promises made by Glenn?

Girls: We do.

Sheila: May a kind God now bless you all as family, and bless this marriage and this home, wherever you may be. And so it is.

And then the girls stepped back into place and Alannah had to get motioned about three times to give me back my bouquet, and then Sheila finished it up.

Forasmuch as you have consented to live together as husband and wife, and have testified to the same before God and these witnesses, and have pledged your faith to each other, therefore, by the authority of the state of Florida, and by virtue of being an ordained minister of the church, I do pronounce you husband and wife. Glenn you may now kiss your bride.
At that point he kissed me and I just wanted it to continue, but it didn’t.  Sheila motioned for us to turn around and she introduced as we walked back down the aisle.  I didn’t know where to look and I was certain if I looked at anyone I would just cry so I squeezed the crap out of Glenn’s hand as we walked out.

We did a few posed pictures and I told the girls they could ditch their heels.

We waited in the lobby a bit for them to move the chairs and such and then began walking back in.  The coordinator stopped us because Craig, Glenn’s brother and the DJ, was supposed to introduce us.  But he was already eating.  So she sent us back and went to get him.  Glenn was just like a locomotive ready to go and when they finally motioned us in, he was pulling me so fast I thought I would fall over.  So unlike what I thought we had agreed on, we immediately were announced to do our first dance.

I was upset because I don’t know if anyone got video, I am praying the photographer got pictures and finally, we hadn’t rehearsed in my gown and it was too long so we just kind of swayed instead of our planned dance.  I don’t know who had my camera for all of this, Alannah had given it initially to Glenn’s mom to take pictures but she set it down or something – so I have none of my own shots.  I started feeling pain as we danced and we quietly talked – all the while smiling outwardly – at the fact of who all had said they would come and didn’t.  He had a couple co-workers not show, some mutual friends, and then two of my friends didn’t show.  I was rather upset but trying hard to hide it.  We joked about how we should have just took the 4k we spent on this and went on a vacation, but to be honest, I wouldn’t have traded it for the world.  I would have made some adjustments to my invites LoL.

So we finished dancing and I quickly ordered a drink, a whiskey sour, and started making rounds to thank everyone.  I hate mingling, I am so incredibly shy about that sort of thing so I made several excuses to talk to the photographer or to the girls or to Sheila or anyone that I knew.  Glenn’s sister in law showed up, man she looked rough.  She didn’t say what was wrong, but she looked ready to break down.

I quickly snagged a smoke break and really the rest of it is fairly blurry except for dancing with Alannah and the cake part.

Craig asked if we wanted anything special played and she asked for Greenday.  I told her only if she would agree to dance.  So somehow, she and I managed to dance to Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

We came home and opened cards and gifts and then ended the night by watching – Star Trek, the first season.  Back when Shattner looked somewhat attractive if you had enough booze in you.

This Friday night we are going to drive down to Key West for our honeymoon, with the girls; which was Glenn’s wishes – not mine.  But I am really glad because I was on the fence about leaving them.  I had enough Marriott Rewards points saved to get us into a three bedroom four star hotel on the beach with 3 bathrooms and a jacquzzi and a balcony in each room.  So we are going to spend Friday and Saturday night and then head home Sunday, stopping in Key Largo to try to do some amateur snorkeling where Glenn used to scuba dive.  He said there are some areas there he knows of that you can literally swim out a few feet from shore and go under the water and see the coral and fish.  I plan to pick up a waterproof camera from CVS to see what pictures I can take.



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