Junior Assistant Burger Flipper

11 06 2007

Work has become unbearable, to the point I have begun seeking elsewhere. I know I won’t leave, there is too much hanging over my shoulders to drop into someone else’s lap, but is enticing to look at what is out there.

I have over 100 employees, and only and handful of I-9s for any and seeing that Cuba’s shores are only a boatride away, it would be a seemingly important form to have on every employee. Yet, it is like pulling teeth to get any manager to enforce the policies of our company, much less the US government.

I thought I would use a scare tactic, breaking down for them all the cost of violation should we be caught. The fines applicable by each violation, 63 in all; the cost of company downtime for having to immediately terminate each violator; the cost of advertisements for new employees, their background checks, their urinalysis tests and so forth. That was followed by a hands’ on training session where I handed out documents from expired passports to military identification cards to worker permits and so forth; granting them each the opportunity to determine what types of documentation could be accepted.

That garnished 13 I-9’s to be turned in.

I get calls from employees wanting to know when to anticipate a paycheck, though I have never even heard of them. And considering I do their background checks, field their drug test results, send out the offer letters and packages and handle their new hire paperwork, you would think that would never occur.

Yet it has, repeatedly.

Four new hires thus far.

And don’t get me started on the ones who have quit and still draw a paycheck months later because no one can bother to pick up the phone and tell me they no longer work for us.

I have one gentleman who has a particularly unique story. He began working for us last year and early this March he stopped showing up for work on Thursdays and Fridays. It was suspected he was working elsewhere, but no one would investigate that for me.

He would just call in sick with no doctor’s note, said he could not afford to go to the doctor. Finally he calls in early April to me to say he won’t be in to work because he hurt his foot.

Oww oww the pain.

I asked him how it happened and he said he stepped wrong, while on the clock. I referred him to visit the doctor to claim it under worker’s comp; it is on the job.

Oh no, says he, I will be fine; I just need a few days off.

(It was a Thursday.)

I told him that was not an option and he would need to not only see the doctor but also submit to a drug screening.

He finally did and was written off of work for a few days. He came back the following Wednesday, with the doctor’s blessing. But Thursday he called to say the pain had returned.

I finally managed to get someone to investigate his possible second job, and they verified he did work there but could not be sure if he worked while he was out the few days on medical pay for our company.

Since that Thursday that he called in again, he has not been seen, nor heard from. As he is out on medical leave, we are paying him, or rather our insurance is.

It is now June.

No one has enforced the declaration that he must return to a doctor and I get a head shaking when I try to get someone at corporate to force a hand. Oh no, there is a protocol; we cannot ‘force’ him to go to a doctor.

I want a job like that. A job where I can lounge about or hell’s bells work somewhere else altogether whilst drawing a paycheck from another company!

Our zone manager is entertaining offers from other companies, stating he is holding out three more months until his year service is through so he won’t owe relocation fees.

No matter the fact he has come onto this job, set it into a downward spiral that few can see us getting out of, and has turned his head to complaints while promoting friends and ill-qualified persons of a like race to positions they have not earned, nor are competent enough to hold.

A manager who has worked for the company for twenty years making 15k less than someone ten years his junior, with less experience, who just happens to be the best friend of the zone manager; as an example.

Bringing friends on board who are ‘refugees’ of foreign countries and promoting them to positions such as sales manager, even though their only career background is in dental work.

McDonald’s is looking mighty nice.




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