I didn’t have children due to a friend deficiency…

8 02 2007

Ah the joys of parenthood.  If my children could be teleported back to the days of my childhood, specifically under the roof of my parents, specifically my father…they would likely die of shock.  People are continually telling me how rough I am on my girls, how I expect too much and their punishment is overwhelmingly drastic for the poor babes.  And yet, I know, if they were my father’s children, they would be bruised and sore and praising me for my leniency.

I don’t really comprehend the world of parenting today.  I did not have children because I needed friends, why should I give a damn if they like me or not?  I don’t particularly care if they like me and nor should I.  I have never understood why so many parents find it something of an achievement that they are their kids’ best friend.

This all comes about from a recent conversation with an ‘advisor’ at my daughter’s school who thought she should ‘advise’ me on how to parent.  It seems my daughter had written some free writing piece about a lesson learned.  The lesson?  She was to do her homework, which she has always preferred to do in her room at her desk.  However, a quick tip toe down the hall found her kicked back in bed, reading a book with her headset on. The punishment?  I took everything she owned except her bed, bedding, and clothes.  She learned not to violate my trust.  But I should learn to be more understanding of the ways of a young girl and be more sympathetic to her needs to relax.  School is stressful after all.

I believe the way my children act as adults is a direct reflection of how I fared as a parent and while I obviously want them to grow up to be successful in life, I also want people to look at them and know I did not only my job as a parent, but that I did so well.  As hellish a childhood as I survived, I believe that I turned out fairly well and am a decent reflection of my parents’ efforts.  I can only hope my girls will be as well.

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